Brothers
by MarauderLover7
Summary: "Because that name isn't who I was born. That name is who I am. That name is what I worked for, that name is the one that my friends - my real family - gave me. And that name, aside from anything else, fits, right in the middle of Moony, Wormtail and Prongs which is exactly where I want to be." Warning: contains child abuse.
1. The Beginning Of The End

_Padfoot,_

_How have your holidays been so far? I know it's only been a week but you didn't sound awfully happy in your last letter. Mum and Dad say you can come stay with us whenever you want - Moony's coming on the 20th and Wormtail's coming on the 23rd. We'd love to have you as well._

_Oh, and you'll never guess what happened: EVANS WROTE TO ME! It was only to tell me to stop writing to her but it still counts, even if Moony doesn't think so. You agree with me, right? I know you do. _

_Anyway, not much has been happening here; I went to work with Dad yesterday and with Mum the day before that. I'll have to tell you all about it - the Department of Mysteries gets weirder every time I go! We're going to a Cannons game while Remus is over. If you're here too I'm sure Dad could get an extra ticket because no one goes to their games anyway._

_Talk to your parents about visiting, okay? If I don't hear back from you for more than two days, Dad says we'll come to make sure everything's all right. Noddy says hi and give Reg a hi from me._

_Hope to see you soon,_

_Prongs._

Sirius sighed and read over the letter again. He glanced at the door to make sure his parents weren't going to come barging through and pulled a piece of parchment toward him. James' owl hooted approvingly.

_Prongs,_ he wrote.

_I sound upset? I think you're imagining things. What reason could I possibly have to be upset when I'm at the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black? That's nice of them, but I think I'll stay here - I'll get more homework done that way._ That was a huge lie but his parents had banned him from spending time with James over the holidays and he didn't want to put that in a letter. Hopefully James would know what he meant, though.

_Say hi to Moony and Wormtail from me when they're there, and tell Moony I agree with him; Lily's letter doesn't count. Not much is happening here, either. We've got the family coming for dinner tonight which will no doubt be the highlight of my holidays thus far. _That was a lie too. Letters from his friends had been the highlights but Sirius couldn't write something that sappy. _The Department of Mysteries sounds interesting - I'm looking forward to hearing about it._

_Thanks for the offer about the Cannons but I think I might have to pass on that too. Maybe next time?_

_Everything's fine here. Tell Noddy thank you._

_Padfoot._

There was a timid knock at his door.

"What?" he called irritably, trying to get James' owl Chudley to sit still long enough for him to attach the letter.

Regulus poked his head through the door. "I can come back later if you want?" he asked nervously.

"Nah, it's all right. I thought you were Mum."

Regulus frowned and slipped inside; Sirius wasn't supposed to call his mother 'Mum'. "James?" he asked, glancing at Chudley. The owl hooted a hello.

"Yeah. He says hi."

"That's nice of him. Say hi back for me."

Sirius unrolled his letter, added a postscript and then barked, "Chudley, sit bloody still." The owl ruffled his feathers indignantly but stuck out a feathery leg and allowed Sirius to secure the letter.

'Why don't you use our owl?"

"Ebony hates me," Sirius grumbled. "Besides, Chudley was already here." He grabbed the owl and tossed it out the window.

Regulus perched on the end of Sirius' bed. He blinked, looking rather owlish himself. "Those are new," he said, glancing at the pictures of muggle girls. Sirius grinned as his brother poked the picture, no doubt wondering why they weren't moving.

"I put them up last week. That one too," he said nodding at the photograph of him and the other three Marauders. They'd dragged poor Frank Longbottom outside - and almost made him miss breakfast - on the last day of school to make him take it.

"You look... happy," Regulus said quietly. "I don't think I've seen you smile like that in a while."

Sirius shrugged. He rarely smiled at home but he was particularly happy in that photograph; Remus had just forgiven him for the Snape incident and they were all friends again - probably even closer than they'd ever been for having fought.

"Mother wants you to get dressed and come downstairs," Regulus said after a moment.

"Tell her thanks but I'd much rather stay here," Sirius said shortly.

"Father said you'd say that," Regulus sighed.

"Oh, he's home, is he? How lovely."

"Sirius-"

"Sorry," Sirius mumbled. He swallowed his irritation; Regulus was only the messenger. "What does Mother want?"

"For you to get into your school robes," Regulus said.

"I'm not allowed to wear them in the house," Sirius said woodenly, wondering if his brother was playing some sort of joke. _It would be rather out of character but stranger things have happened..._

"Mother's changed her mind. She wants a family photo."

"Oh, good," Sirius said, not at all enthused. "I can add that to the list: she wants me to be in Slytherin, me to stop talking to James, Remus and Peter, me to be more like you, me to stop ordering Kreacher to hide for days at a time, me to stop living in my room, me to drop Muggle Studies-"

"Please, Sirius," Regulus said. "It's going to happen whether you like it or not so just do it and make it easy for both of us."

"Fine," Sirius growled. He stomped over to his dresser and pulled out his school pants, shirt, tie and robes.

"See you downstairs," Regulus said. "And... try not to keep Mother waiting."

_Of course I won't. She'd blame it on you anyway and that isn't fair. _He shook his head and shrugged out of his casual robes. A minute later he was completely redressed and looked exactly as he would on a normal school day, down to the shaggy hair, loose tie and partially untucked shirt. He slipped his shoes on and stalked out onto the landing.

"Nasty little-" the family house elf muttered, spying Sirius, as he emerged from the linen closet opposite Sirius' bedroom door.

"You shouldn't talk about yourself that way," Sirius told him.

Kreacher stared at his uniform and his large bloodshot eyes fell on the Gryffindor tie. "Blood traitor," he muttered. "Stain on my Mistress' honour and that of House Black. Master Regulus has proper pride, Master Regulus knows his place and what is due to his nam-"

"Kreacher, shut up," Sirius said tiredly. Kreacher made a choking noise but couldn't speak. "Go and hide in the kitchen for an hour and I forbid you to come out or tell anyone why you're there until the hour's up."

Kreacher's eyes bulged but he still wasn't allowed to talk. He spat at Sirius' feet and Disapparated with a noisy CRACK! Sirius just hoped he was in the middle of doing something important and would get punished for not getting it done. He thundered down the stairs, taking them two at a time because he knew the noise would infuriate his father.

When he reached the flight of stairs that connected the first floor to the ground floor, he bounded around the first section and collided with his mother. His father stopped Mother from falling over but made no effort to stop Sirius bouncing off her and landing on his backside on the carpet.

"Sorry," he said. "Didn't see you there."

Both stared at him with disdain. Mother was wearing a pair of black, lacy dress-robes and an ugly hat. Father was wearing a pair of dress-robes - also black - but they had silver embroidery at the sleeves and hem and there was not a crease to be found. His mother's sharp eyes found his tie. "Why are you wearing that?" she asked. Sirius stared up at her, puzzled. "I told Regulus to tell you to wear dress robes."

"I decided not to listen," he said, feeling rather foolish; clearly Regulus_ had_ been playing a joke.

"Only Regulus was supposed to be in his school robes," Mother said huffily.

Sirius grinned, picking himself up off the ground. Joke or not, it had Mother annoyed so he'd keep it that way. "Well I wanted to wear mine too. If I didn't, people might think you were the prejudiced sort and we wouldn't want that."

His mother bristled but Father just eyed him coldly. "At the very least do your tie up properly," Mother said, regaining her voice. "You look like a half-blood."

"Really?" Sirius said making no move to fix it. "That's a shame. I was going for the product-of-incest look."

Mother let out a screech. "We are of the purest bloodline!" she told him furiously.

"That's what I was saying; all the purity passes from cousin to cousin to co-"

"Sirius!" Father said coolly.

Sirius shivered for effect. "It's cold in here," he said pointedly. "Perhaps I should get my scarf too-"

"Enough," Mother said. "It's bad enough you're wearing that wretched tie and even worse that you were Sorted there in the first place. You will not be wearing a scarf."

"Then why don't you tell Father to pull the broomstick out of his-"

His mother slapped him. "You will not talk to your father that way!"

"I told you to tell him, so I wasn't actually talking to-"

She slapped him again. "Have you no respect at all? Where's your family pride? Your honour?"

"I left it at James' house over Christmas," Sirius said. It was true; he was prouder to be an honorary Potter than a born Black. "I'll have to go there at some point and pick it up-"

"You will not! That boy's been misguiding you for years! We won't tolerate you consorting with his type anymore!"

"What type? Purebloods? They aren't _all _bad. Just all the ones we know."

"They're blood-traitors," Father said. "Mudblood lovers."

_James does love Lily... _"They're a better type than any of your friends," Sirius said shortly. "James is brilliant."

"He's a bad influence," Mother said. "I'll be surprised if you've scraped any O.W.L.s."

"I think I did rather well in my Muggle Studies exam," Sirius said.

"I suppose the Potter boy does Muggle Studies too," Father said coldly. He glanced at the mounted elf heads as if he'd like nothing more than to put Sirius up there with them.

"No, actually. I'm the only one. Peter doesn't have much interest in muggles and James really wanted to do Ancient Runes so it didn't fit and Remus' mother is a muggleborn so he knows all about them." Mother shuddered at the word muggleborn. "I just can't help it. Muggles are so terribly interesting. Aren't they, Reg?"

Regulus had just appeared looking immaculate in his school robes, and had absolutely no clue what they were talking about. "Aren't they what?"

"Muggles," Sirius said. "They're fascinating."

"Oh. Erm... well, I suppose so-" Regulus shot their father a quick look, "-but they aren't really our concern. We're purebloods. We don't need to have anything to do with them if we don't want to." Mother watched Regulus proudly, Father without expression.

"You keep telling yourself that," Sirius said, ruffling his brother's hair. "Or, more truthfully, let _them_ keep telling you that." Regulus flinched. Mother looked cross. "Now, someone said something about a photograph?"

"Yes," Father said. "Where's that wretched elf with the camera?" Sirius sniggered but assumed a grave expression when Father glanced at him.

"Kreacher's not wretched," Regulus said, annoyed.

"Have you been putting ideas in your brother's head?" Father snapped, staring at Sirius.

"No. I hate the little bastard," Sirius said cheerfully. "Kreacher, not Reg. I'm rather fond of Reg. Besides, giving him ideas is _your_ job." Regulus shot him a look, a plea to be quiet. Sirius rocked back onto his heels, humming the school song under his breath.

"Kreacher!" Mother screeched. Sirius' smile grew slightly when the elf didn't come. "Kreacher! Oh, where has he got to?" she asked, smoothing her robes.

"I can't imagine," Sirius said brightly.

"Where is he?" Father asked, while Mother shouted for the elf. Regulus shrugged, looking concerned. "Sirius."

"I'd try the kitchen," Sirius suggested. "He seems to like it down there." Father grabbed the back of Sirius' robes.

"Father don't!" Regulus cried. "You'll hurt him!"

Father ignored Regulus and hauled Sirius down the last few steps, down the hall and down the stairs into the kitchen. "Undo whatever it is you've done," Father barked, giving Sirius a rough shake.

Sirius pried his father's fingers free, stalked over to Kreacher's den and wrenched the door open. The elf was rocking back and forward in the dark, muttering, "Bad Kreacher!" and smacking his ugly head against the boiler.

"Stop it," Sirius said, annoyed; he was actually feeling a little guilty.

"Has the brat been sent to apologise to poor Kreacher?" Kreacher asked.

"I take back what I said before. Go and get the bloody camera."

The elf shoved past him and Sirius heard him tell Father how noble he was looking. Sirius shuffled out of the cupboard, dodged his father and bolted up the stairs to the ground floor. "You and Regulus will stand in front," Mother told him.

"Where my tie's in plain view?" Sirius asked innocently. "Perhaps there's hope for you yet."

"Don't start, Sirius," Regulus sighed.

Sirius bit down on his tongue to keep another retort back. Kreacher came shuffling out holding a heavy camera and Father emerged from the hall with an unreadable expression. He gave Sirius a dark look and took his place beside Mother. Sirius glowered at Kreacher and by extension the camera.

_Let them see just how happy I am to be here_, he thought venomously. The camera clicked.

"Take another one, Kreacher," Mother called. "I want a choice." Sirius maintained the same dull expression the entire time.

"This is the last one," Father told Mother curtly.

"Look proud, everyone," Mother said.

Regulus cleared his throat and gave Sirius a little nudge in the ribs. He gave him a small smile and Sirius felt his own lips twitch up in response. He just couldn't help it. He flung an arm over Regulus' shoulders making him laugh in surprise and Sirius heard his own bark-like laugh follow; his brother didn't laugh very often. He was sure the brotherly gesture was annoying his parents but he didn't care. The camera clicked.

Father pushed between them as soon as Kreacher announced the photograph was done. Sirius let his arm fall to his side. "Get ready," Mother said from behind them. "Everyone will be here at six."

Sirius' good mood extinguished like a candle in the wind. Sometimes, the similarities between Mother and a Dementor were astonishing. "Can't I just stay in these?" he asked. Mother gave him a filthy look. "I'm joking," he said hastily.

"Do try to be more serious," she said, irritated. "Kreacher will bring you clean robes. Change, and be downstairs by five-to."

"That gives me an hour and a half," Sirius said. "I don't nee-"

"We'll be ready," Regulus said hastily, grabbing Sirius' arm before Mother could respond. He hauled him up two flights of stairs.

"You're getting strong," Sirius commented, rubbing his arm. Regulus wasn't built as solidly as he was, but he was almost as tall.

His brother ignored him. "Do you have to provoke her like that?" he asked.

Sirius shrugged. "What else is there to do?"

"Try to get along?"

"I did, for ten and a half years."

"Ever since you went to Hogwarts, you've changed," Regulus said a little accusingly.

"Of course I have. We always knew I was different - the white sheep of the black family if you will-" Regulus smiled reluctantly, "-and my Sorting proved it. I'm a Gryffindor now, so I'm allowed to be brave and stand up for myself."

"Do you really believe that? That only Gryffindors can be brave?"

"Of course not," Sirius said. "We're just better at showing it. Anyone can be brave if they want to." Regulus absorbed this in thoughtful silence. They passed the third floor and headed up the next flight of stairs. "Do you think I can get away with relaxing for an hour?" Sirius asked as they reached the fourth floor landing.

"Probably. Mind if I join you for a bit?"

Sirius shoved his bedroom door open. "Of course not," he said, holding the door for his brother. Regulus walked in and lit the lamps on the walls with a wave of his wand. Then he froze. "What?" Sirius asked, shutting the door.

Regulus let out a strangled half-laugh. "James?" he asked, running to the window.

"Oh, has he written back?" Sirius said happily, trying to get his tie undone.

"You could say that," James said.

Sirius' head snapped up. James was halfway through his bedroom window - Regulus was pulling him through - having almost slipped when the boys walked in. James shook Regulus' hand once he was inside. Sirius laughed, delighted and ran forward to hug him. "What in Godric's name are you doing here?!"

James pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket. It took Sirius a moment to recognise his letter. "You got that quickly," Regulus said.

James shrugged. Then he swatted Sirius on the nose. "What do you call this?" he asked crossly.

"Parchment," Sirius said. "With ink on it. We call them letters-"

James smacked him again. Regulus sniggered. "You've got homework to do?" James asked incredulously. "You'll pass on a Cannons game?"

"I do have homework-"

"'_Everything's fine here'?_" James said, rolling his eyes as he stuffed the letter back into his jeans.

"It is-"

"Nice try," James said, throwing himself down in Sirius' desk chair. He folded his arms. "What's really going on?"

"Mum and Dad don't want me associating with you anymore," Sirius sighed.

"Oh." James blinked. "Right then." He looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Shit, this is awkward. I'll...er... shit, sorry."

Sirius stared at him. "For what?"

"Well, you said-" James tripped on Sirius' trunk on his way back towards the window. He fell, swearing loudly.

"Prongs, where are you going?"

"Window," James said, clutching his foot.

"Window?" Regulus cocked his head to the side. "We have a door, you know. And a fireplace."

"Not up here you don't," James said, wincing as he hopped on one foot, cradling his shoe. "And if you don't want me here, I'm not about to go waltzing through your house."

"Don't want you here?" Sirius demanded.

"Of course he wants you here!" Regulus laughed. "He's been moping for days."

"Aww, Paddy," James said.

Sirius scowled at his brother. "What?" Regulus asked. "It's true."

"You didn't need to tell him."

James sat down on Sirius' bed and took off his trainer and then his sock. "I think I've broken my toe," he announced sadly.

"Serves you right for walking into things," Sirius told him.

"Some friend you are. I came all this way to see you and you don't even offer to heal my toe."

"I'm not touching your feet!" Sirius said. Regulus wrinkled his nose in agreement.

"It's just a toe!" James said. "Please, Paddy, it hurts."

Sirius chuckled. "Sap." He pulled out his wand. "_Episkey_," he said.

There was a crunching sound that made Regulus wince and then James pulled his sock back on. "Thanks."

"Where did you learn to heal?" Regulus asked.

"Just a useful spell I picked up," Sirius said casually. His eyes met James' for a second and then they both looked away.

"Can you teach me?"

"Some time, sure." He turned back to James who was walking to test his healed toe. "So how did you get here?"

James looked sheepish. "Knight Bus. I told Mum and Dad I was cleaning my room and climbed out my bedroom window."

"And they didn't suspect a thing?" Sirius asked. _James is so tidy I'd be suspicious if he used that excuse._

James made a face. "They probably do. I'll be back soon anyway, but if they check on me, they'll just think I've gone to the bathroom or something."

"Don't you have an ensuite?" Regulus asked tentatively; he and Sirius had spent a weekend at James' in Sirius' second year when Charlus and Dorea took them all to the Quidditch World Cup. That was before Sirius' parents had decided the Potters weren't good enough to associate with. That weekend, though - and James' generally friendly personality - were why James and Regulus got on so well; Remus and Regulus were both too polite to have ever made any real progress as friends and Peter was too scared to talk to him.

James' expression flickered. "I did," he said evasively.

"What did you do?" Sirius could feel a smile forming.

"It was an accident," James said immediately. "I'd bought a whole heap of fireworks - you know those Filibuster's Wet-Start ones...?" Sirius winced, beginning to suspect where this was going. "I'd _planned_ to put them in Dad's shower but then Dad's mum was coming for a visit and for whatever reason that meant that _my_room needed to be cleaned a day earlier than usual..."

"Why? Was your Grandmother going to be visiting your room?"

"No, she- I don't know. It's some stupid adult thing that every room needs to be clean when someone comes over." Sirius whistled; in Potter Manor, that was an impressive feat, even with Noddy the house-elf to help. "My room wasn't even that messy," James muttered, shaking his head. Sirius could believe that; James was - almost, though not quite - as neat as he was. "But Noddy still had to clean it, so I moved the fireworks from under my bed and put them in the bathroom..." He smiled sheepishly at the Black brothers. "Well, you're both bright. I think you can work out what happened."

Sirius grinned and clapped James on the back. "Does Moony know?"

"I didn't write to tell him about it, if that's what you mean," James said, rolling his eyes. "But he'll see the damage when he comes to visit. Wormtail was over last week so he's already seen it. He thought it was terribly funny, but not when he needed the toilet and had to walk five minutes to find one." James looked vindicated. Regulus chuckled and a little snort escaped, one that showed he wasn't as stuffy as he liked to make himself seem. Sirius was a little heartened at that. "What time's everyone coming?" James asked, glancing at his watch.

"Six. Still got an hour," Sirius said brightly.

"Holy Hufflepuff! An hour!" Regulus cried. "I have to get ready! Bye, James."

"Bye, Reg," James said warmly.

Regulus scarpered out. Sirius shook his head at the door. _Sometimes, I don't know how we're related._ He glanced at James who was currently helping himself to a chocolate frog out of Sirius' bedside table. "Oi!" he said. James glanced over and stuffed the frog in before Sirius could protest. "That was my last one, you git."

"Urgh. Agrippa _again_!"

"I didn't think you had Agrippa," Sirius said, frowning as he tried - mentally - to sort through James' card collection; for James' thirteenth birthday, one of his uncles had bought him a handsome, leather bound chocolate frog card album. He'd long outgrown collecting them for the competition of it - mostly - but he still enjoyed it, and it really was an impressive collection. And, as far as collections went, it was the one Sirius understood best - certainly more than Peter's muggle stamp collection anyway.

"I have about five of him."

"No Morgana, yet?"

James shook his head sadly and pocketed the card. "No."

"If it comes in the box you're going to send me tomorrow, I'll hold on to it for you," Sirius said.

"The box I'm going to send you?" James asked, grinning.

"For eating my last frog," Sirius sniffed.

"Fair enough. I'll send Chudley at some point."

Sirius beamed. "And it'd better be a large box, mind. If yo-" The door swung open. James' laugh froze on his face and his shoulders tightened.

Kreacher walked in, oblivious, carrying Sirius' dress-robes. They were ugly things, black - like his name, his hair, his mother's heart and his father's temper - with silver embroidery on the cuffs and hem. The crest sat proudly on the breast pocket and the robes had obviously been folded to show that. Kreacher set the robes down on the bed and walked out again without saying a word.

"Do you think-" James began hopefully.

"I don't know," Sirius said, worried. "You have to go, though, just in case." He didn't want James to leave, but he didn't want him to be caught by his mother or father either.

James nodded and glanced at the door as if someone might come in. He walked carefully _around_ Sirius' trunk - not into it, this time - pulled the window open and eased himself out onto the ledge. Sirius' bedroom door flung open. It was Father and he was just about trembling with rage. He strode across the room, shoving Sirius out of the way and hauled James back in through the window by the back of his jumper.

"Why is there a Potter on your window-sill, Sirius?" he asked, giving James a rough shake.

"Maybe he likes it there," Sirius said. It was one of his worst comebacks to date but he really couldn't think of anything.

"Only because _someone_ wouldn't let me inside," James said, irritated. He turned to Father with a passably sulky expression on his face. Sirius didn't buy it for a moment, but then, he knew James. _What's he playing at?_"He hasn't been answering my letters all summer, sir," he said pouting.

"Is this true?" Father asked quietly, glancing at Sirius with... no, it wasn't approval, but it was something rather close.

"Of course it's true," James said snippily, managing to wrench out of Father's grip. He straightened his glasses._He's taking the blame..._ Awe and fear flicked through Sirius simultaneously. James was an idiot for deliberately upsetting Father - it was like bleeding in front of a vampire - but Sirius appreciated it anyway. He just hoped it didn't end badly. "Why else would I resort to climbing through a window?"

"You're a Potter," Father said, as if that explained everything. To him, it probably did. James frowned, miffed. "I apologise, Sirius. I thought perhaps, you'd invited him here. It seems, though, that Potter has overstepped his bounds again and for once, you are guiltless."

Sirius didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to protest and say he had invited James, but he hadn't. He frowned. James ruffled his hair and stared at his trainers. "Sorry," he muttered, looking perfectly contrite. It was an expression he and Sirius had both learned from Remus and was extremely useful against McGonagall. "I'll just go."

"Can't he stay for dinner?" Sirius asked. "He's a pureblood. I promise we'll be good. We won't bother Cissy or Bella and we'll include Reg." They sounded like the promises of a five-year-old and not a fifteen-year-old, but Father had always treated him like a child.

"Dressed like that?"

"He can wear something of mine," Sirius said, praying his father agreed; until James was actually invited to stay by one of Sirius' parents, he was an intruder and not a guest. He would be treated accordingly.

"I don't think so." Father grabbed James' jumper again and dragged him from the room. Sirius hastened to follow, patting his wand for reassurance.

"I can _walk_, you know, sir," James said trying to pull free.

"I am aware," Father said curtly. "You cannot, however, be trusted inside my house without supervision."

"Father, he'll walk right alongside you," Sirius said, ripping his father's hand off of James.

Father's other hand connected with the side of Sirius' face. He reeled back, disoriented and then shook his head, annoyed. "You hit him!" James exclaimed, staring up at Father in horror. It wasn't the fact that Sirius had been hit that was likely to be James' problem. It was probably the fact that it was his father who'd done it. James, with loving parents, had probably never thought to consider - Sirius had done his best to shield all of his friends from the truth, but he thought Remus might know - that not all parents loved their children.

"And I shall do so again if Sirius cannot remember his place." Father's grey eyes, so cold, so empty, bore down on Sirius.

Sirius glared back with everything he could, sure his eyes were blazing. "Don't touch James."

"Padfoot, it's all right," James muttered.

"No, it's not. Your parents don't drag me about by the scruff of my neck when I'm over." He turned to his father. "You have no right to treat him like this."

"I have every right. He is trespassing on my property-"

"He's my friend," Sirius snarled.

"It is inexcusable."

"So's your behaviour," Sirius snapped. James looked worried. "If I treated_ your_ friends this way, _Father-_"

"You wouldn't dare-" Father's calm mask was slipping. Sirius felt a little stab of pride beneath his anger.

"No, because I'm a decent human being."

"You don't know what decent is. You consort with blood traitors an-"

"Of course I know what it is!" Sirius shouted. "Just because I've never seen examples of decency here doesn't mean I've never seen it. Those 'blood-traitors' are the ones who taught me about decency, Father, not you or our friends."

"Our friends are-"

"Our friends are scum," Sirius growled. "They're stuck-up purebloods who want nothing more than to kiss Voldemort's-"

"Don't say the name!" Father hissed.

"VOLDEMORT!" Sirius shouted. Father startled and hit him again.

James, who had been watching, stunned until now - likely because he'd never been in a situation quite like this before - flared up. "Don't touch him," he snarled, stepping between Sirius and Father. The lamps on the walls flickered.

"I'll not be told what to do by a blood traitor," Father said.

"Mature," James said coolly. "Are we insulting each other now, instead of hitting? Words instead of hands and all that?"

"James," Sirius said, pulling him out of the way. It wasn't easy to do on Grimmauld's narrow stairwell.

"No, Sirius," James said impatiently, shaking loose. Father was watching them with amusement that made Sirius' insides go cold.

"You need to go home," Sirius urged. _Before you piss Father off anymore._

"And leave you here with these people?" James demanded. "I don't think so. I'm going to use your fireplace to call Dad and then he's going to pick us both up and take us home."

Home, Sirius had to admit, sounded very welcome. "Use my fireplace?" Father asked softly.

"Yes," James told him.

James was very, very brave and very, very stupid to try to threaten Father. "You'll not be using my fireplace," Father said.

"If you keep me here, they'll come anyway," James said, tilting his jaw up. Sirius didn't think Father noticed the flick of James' eyes that said he was bluffing.

"I have no intention of allowing you to remain in my house," Father said disdainfully. "We'll call the Knight Bus and send you home that way."

"I'm still bringing Dad back," James said.

"Odd, that an Auror, a man with such high regard for the rules has managed to raise such a disgrace."

Sirius didn't think. He shoved James out of the way and punched his father. The smack of fist-on-face seemed to echo. Everything was silent. Sirius couldn't quite believe what he'd done. "Don't talk about my friends that way," he said, very quietly. Father stared at him, stunned. James blinked, looking neither pleased or displeased that Sirius had stepped in on his behalf.

"Go to your room," Father told Sirius.

"No," Sirius said.

"Sirius-"

"I said no!" Sirius shouted. He spun and ushered James downstairs. Father didn't follow.

"I'm sorry," James said miserably, as soon as they were out of hearing range. "Sirius, I-"

"Don't," Sirius said flatly. "He's had it coming for a long time."

"Is he always-"

"Yeah," Sirius said. James wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze. Sirius couldn't put into words how much that simple gesture meant.

"I'm sorry. I'll bring Dad-"

"Don't," Sirius said. "Just- just leave it."

"But-"

"I don't want to go home with you, Prongs." He did, he couldn't think of anything he wanted more, but if he did, Charlus would ask questions that he didn't want to answer. He could say enough to ruin his father and even his mother he thought, but then he and Regulus' custody would be transferred to his Aunt Druella and Uncle Cyprus. They weren't as volatile as his parents, but they had all the same ideals _and_ it meant they'd have to share a house with Narcissa and Bellatrix until they were of age. "I want to stay here, at least for the next little while." James looked upset but he nodded and let Sirius led him into the library on the third floor. "That fireplace'll take you to the kitchen," Sirius said in a flat voice. "From the kitchen, you can go home."

"Okay," James said quietly. "I'll write tomorrow and send those frogs-"

Sirius smiled, a genuine smile. "Thanks. I'll see you in September."

"Can't you visit before then? Or I'll come here?"

"I don't think that's a very good idea," Sirius said slowly.

James' eyes scanned his face but he didn't press the point. "I'll write every day," he said instead. "And don't brush me off with 'I'm fine'. If you're miserable, I want to hear about it. And I'll write to Moony and Wormtail and make them write to you too. It'll be like we're all together. Oh, and your mirror. Answer your mirror. I tried to talk to you this afternoon-"

"We were having a family photo," Sirius said, sighing.

"Fun," James said.

"Highlight of my year."

James sniggered and then sobered. "I won't... er... look, what happened today... I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Father's an arse whether you're here or not."

"I won't say anything," James said.

Sirius relaxed slightly and gave James a grateful smile. They hugged and Sirius shooed him toward the fireplace.

James said, "The kitchen!" and was gone.

Sirius sighed, wishing he could go too.

* * *

Sirius kicked his legs under the table and was rewarded by his middle cousin's face tightening. Bella was opposite him, Cissy beside her and Regulus sat between Cissy and Sirius. The adults were at the other end. Aunt Druella was beside her middle daughter, Uncle Cyprus was beside her and Sirius' parents were on his other side. There were no less than five empty chairs between Sirius and Father.

Sirius rolled his eyes, wishing Andy was there; his eldest cousin had married a muggleborn named Ted Tonks - who Sirius had met several times and quite liked - several years ago. She hadn't been at any pureblood functions since Sirius was about nine and she was _still_ his favourite. They saw each other a few times each year and corresponded a fair bit, but she was busy with her young daughter, Nymphadora.

"So," Sirius said, though he knew perfectly well. "How's Andy?"

"Fine, last I heard," Aunt Druella said stiffly.

"Her brat turned five in March," Bella spat.

"April," Sirius corrected. "She was born in the Easter holidays, remember?"

"Her name's Nymphadora," was Cissy's contribution.

"How dare she give a half-blood a pure-blood's name?" Mother said crossly. This was an old hatred of hers. Her statement quickly became a discussion point for the adults.

"I think it's pretty," Cissy said quietly.

"Me too, but it's a mouthful," Sirius said, glancing at his younger cousin in surprise; Narcissa didn't usually have thoughts of her own, and if she did, she never voiced them.

Cissy looked shocked Sirius had agreed and then blushed when Bella glowered. "Pretty name?" Bella mocked. "Next you'll want to meet the girl."

"No, I won't," Narcissa snapped.

"You haven't met her?" Sirius asked. "You haven't met your own niece?"

"She's mudblood spawn," Bella sniffed. "I suppose _you've_ met her."

"Several times. She was at the World Cup in second year, I went to her third birthday party, and James, Remus and I babysat her on New Year's when Andy and Ted went out."

"What's she like?" Narcissa asked.

"Happy," Sirius said after a moment's thought. "Weird, huh, a happy child with Black blood?"

"Bella, dear?"

"Yes, Aunt Walburga?" Bella asked, fixing her dark eyes on Mother. Sirius caught Regulus' eye and pretended to gag at his cousin's sickly tone but Regulus just frowned and looked away. Sirius watched, discomfited; James, Remus or Peter would have laughed.

"What subjects are you doing this year?"

Bella launched into a spiel about how wonderful Potions was, and how she hated Divination. Sirius mostly ignored her chatter, but when she got to Defence Against the Dark Arts, he listened in. "Of course, it's not exactly a useful subject," Bella said thoughtfully, shaking her dark head. "It's interesting, I'll grant it that, but I don't know why we need to defend ourselves against the new regime. It'd be more prudent to teach a course on how to _use_ the Dark Arts." Sirius tried to catch Regulus' eye again but his brother looked interested.

"That's stupid," Sirius said.

"And clearly you, Sirius," Cissy said frostily, "are the epitome of intelligence."

"I'll get better O.W.L. grades than anyone else here," Sirius said pointedly. "I actually studied, instead of mooning after boys."

Cissy flushed a delicate pink. Bella went red. "I do not moon after boys," she said crossly.

"Girls, then, Bella? Kinky." Sirius winked. She looked absolutely appalled. The adults had stopped their own conversation and were watching with closed expressions. _Probably want to see how deep a hole I can dig for myself before they have to send me to my room. _Sirius intended to find out.

"I do not-" Bella spluttered.

"That's right," Sirius said, clicking his fingers. "You've got a thing for _Voldemort_."

"Don't say his name!" Bella shrieked, drowning out the adults' protests; they'd all flinched.

"Possessive, much?" Sirius asked innocently.

"At least she's faithful," Cissy said. "Who are you dating this week, Sirius? The McKinnon trollop? Or the Mudblood slag?"

"I don't associate with trollops or slags; I make a point of staying _away_ from Slytherins."

"You never answered the question," Bella said.

"Of course not. The last thing I want is Cissy getting jealous."

"Jealous?" Cissy hissed.

"I'm astoundingly attractive," Sirius said loftily. "And we all know Blacks have a thing for their cousins..."

"I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot broomstick," Cissy spat.

"You wouldn't touch a broomstick, Cissy, is more the point,' Sirius said patiently. "You might break a nail, or get a bug in your mouth-"

"Enough," Father said quietly. "Apologise for your behaviour, Sirius. This is no way to treat guests."

He had said the wrong thing. "I'm terribly sorry, dear cousins," Sirius said. He stood up, pushing his seat away from the table and walked around to stand behind the girls. He grabbed each of them - gently, he only wanted to make his point - by the backs of their robes, gave them a little shake and said, "I have no intention of allowing you to remain in my house. Let me drag you to the Knight Bus."

"Sirius!" Father shouted. Regulus groaned quietly and tried to sink through his chair.

"You're right, Father," Sirius said. "I haven't insulted them enough yet. Bella, you-"

"Sirius!" Father was livid. Sirius couldn't say he was surprised.

Sirius released his cousins, patted them both on the tops of their heads and glanced over at Father. "Yes?"

"To your bedroom. _Now_."

"Father, I thought you'd never ask! I've been dying to escape all night. It was a trauma seeing you, Aunt Druella, Uncle Cyprus, cousins." He tipped his hat to them all and skipped out of the room. Father followed him. "Sneaking off for a drink, Father?" he asked brightly. "You've only had a glass today. Surely you're going through withdrawals-"

Father whipped out his wand and gave it a sharp jab in Sirius' direction. A hard lump of magic hit him square in the chest. He fell to the ground, gasping. "I have had enough of your cheek," Father said dangerously. Sirius could only nod. "I do not want to see you for the rest of the evening."

"Feeling's mutual," he managed to gasp, when it would have been much smarter to shut up. Father kicked him in the side and spat on him, before spinning on his heel and striding back into the dining room. Sirius picked himself up off the ground, wincing and hobbled upstairs to his room.


	2. From The End, It Begins

It was later that night, much later, when Sirius' bedroom door swung open and a tall shadow crept in. "Come to kill me in my sleep, Father?" Sirius asked, grabbing his wand.

"That's not funny, Sirius," Regulus said quietly. There were soft footsteps and then there was weight on the end of Sirius' bed. "Thank Merlin you're tidy or I'd probably have broken my neck," Regulus muttered.

"Or your toe," Sirius said. "_Lumos_." His wand lit up and he set it on the covers. Regulus looked tired, but determined. "What's wrong?"

"You are," Regulus muttered.

"Pardon?" Sirius asked, taken aback.

"I was talking to Cissy and Bella - Bella's joining the Death Eaters," Regulus said.

"Surprise, surprise," Sirius muttered. "Told you she fancies Voldemort."

"Just stop it!" Regulus snapped. "You didn't even _try_ tonight, did you? You were just so determined to get one up on Father, and to upset Mother that you didn't care how you made the rest of us look."

"Us being you? Sirius asked.

"Yes," Regulus said irritated. "You're not in Slytherin, Sirius. You can't defend yourself in the common room when people make fun of you and your friends. I am! And you make me look like a complete arse when you go and do something like this after I've spent hours shouting at Bella about you not being that bad!"

"You... defend me?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," Regulus said, flushing. "And you don't even try to look after me."

"Rubbish," Sirius said flatly. "When have any of _my_ friends ever hexed you?"

Regulus thought about it. "Never, really. I think James hexed me once last year because I called that Evans girl a Mudblood."

"He gave you silver skin," Sirius said. _Because Reg was 'so pure'. _ "And that was fair enough. James is touchy where Lily's concerned."

"I know. I don't hold it against him."

"I know."

"No, you don't. Fine, people at school leave me alone, mostly, but when have you ever taken a hex for me, or-"

"Taken a hex?" Sirius growled. "Who hexed you?!"

"No one," Regulus muttered, not meeting Sirius' eyes.

"Bollocks," Sirius told him.

"Why can't you just act like the rest of us?" Regulus asked, a little desperately.

"Because I'm not like the rest of you," Sirius sighed. "And I stopped trying to be a long time ago. I don't want to inherit this place, or Kreacher. I don't want to join Voldemort and I-"

"Why not?" Regulus asked.

"I hate it here and I _loathe_ Kreacher, evil little bastard that he is."

"I mean about... Him," Regulus said.

"Voldemort?" Regulus flinched but nodded. "Because he's evil, Reg! He hurts people! The pureblood community is stuffy enough without some stupid git telling them they've got the right idea."

"It's not just purebloods who like him, though."

"No, but most of his followers are purebloods."

"Is that so bad?" Regulus asked. "Bella said he wants to make the world a better place."

"He doesn't."

"And how would you know?"

"Killing people is wrong, Reg, and that's how he does it!" Sirius couldn't believe he was having this conversation.

"You're the only one I know who seems to think it's wrong. Mother and Father think He's got the right idea."

"_They're_ wrong. Look, James' dad is an Auror-"

"I know." Regulus looked at him like he was stupid.

"So he's seen the people Voldemort hurts! He kills families for the sake of it, he tortures muggles!"

"But he's got thousands of followers," Regulus said stubbornly. "That many people can't be wrong."

"Why not?"

"Because," Regulus said, looking flustered. "They just can't. Maybe muggles really are evil."

"And Dumbledore? Dumbledore and the Ministry, Reg. You love the Ministry! All that order, that law-"

"Cissy thinks the Ministry's full of stuck-up gits."

"When did you start to care what Cissy thought?"

"I've always cared!"

"Not this much."

"Maybe it's because she actually listens to me."

"I listen to you!"

"You make me look stupid!"

"I make everyone look stupid. But right now, with all this Death Eater talk, you're doing well enough without my help."

Regulus looked like he'd been slapped. "That many people can't be wrong," he said again. "Bella said so, and so did Mother and Father."

"Clearly, as far as morals go, they're the ones to be believed," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Who else should I believe, Sirius? You?"

"Yes, me! I'm your brother!"

"And they're my parents! Our entire family except for me hates you! All the Slytherins think you're a prat! If that's what believing you costs, I don't want to." Sirius stared at his brother as if seeing him for the first time. Regulus looked up at him with gleaming eyes. "Please, Sirius. It's not too late. You could apologise to Mother and Father. We could be like a family again. Remember what it used to be like?"

"Yes," Sirius whispered. "But even then we weren't happy. We were just too young to realise that we weren't."

"We could be a family," Regulus insisted.

"Yeah, but only if I go against everything I believe in," Sirius said heavily. "I can't do that, Reg."

"You can. And you don't have to change everything. If you settled down a bit, maybe you could persuade Mother and Father to see your side more."

"And James? Remus and Peter? All my other friends? What would they think?"

"You could talk them around too. Remus and Peter would do what you told them to, I know they would."

"Peter would. Remus couldn't."

"And James. James would still be your friend if you changed sides, you know that."

That was what decided it. Remus was a factor, of course, but it was James that did it. James would, as Regulus had said, stay his friend. But he would never be his brother again. It would always hang between them because James wouldn't turn, not with his dad being an Auror, not with Remus as a friend. Sirius couldn't lose that. _And they say you don't get to choose your family, _he thought, grimly amused.

"I can't," he whispered, staring at his brother, the boy - despite there only being a year age difference between them - that he'd helped raise. The boy he and Kreacher had sheltered when Mother and Father fought, the boy Sirius had taught his first spell, the boy Sirius had taught to fly, the boy who he'd failed to protect from Voldemort's influence, the boy who recently, had been the one parenting Sirius, instead of the other way around. Regulus's face closed over. "You're still my brother," Sirius said immediately. And that was the difference. He'd been losing Regulus for years, really, now that he thought about it, but they were still brothers, still bound by blood if nothing else. They could stay brothers, through this.

"A brother you just chose your friends over," Regulus said bitterly.

"A brother I chose my family over," Sirius said gently.

"We are your family!"

"Mother and Father aren't. You are, if you still want to be."

Regulus hesitated. Sirius waited, a little worried, but he knew even if Regulus said no, it would be nothing compared to losing James. "I still want to be," Regulus whispered. He held his hand out. It trembled.

"A handshake?" Sirius asked, shaking his head. "What _do_ they teach you in Slytherin?" He hugged his little brother and Regulus tensed for a moment but then hugged him back.

"I'm going to bed," Regulus told him a moment later.

"Reg?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks." Regulus smiled weakly before slipping out of the room.

"Why aren't you in bed?" he heard Mother say from out on the landing.

"_Nox_," Sirius muttered.

"I thought Kreacher had put my pyjamas in Sirius' room."

"Where are they, then?" Father's voice said.

"Oh, they weren't in there."

"Your behaviour was immaculate tonight," Mother said proudly.

"I'm glad you approve." That sentence summarised Regulus better than anything. He had a fierce independent streak - Sirius liked to think he'd cultivated that in his brother - but more often than not, his desire to please smothered it. "Good night." There was a click as his door closed.

Sirius' door opened and Mother and Father walked in. "I'm sleeping," he told them. The lamps came to life. Sirius groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "I thought you didn't want to see me for the rest of the night," he added, glancing at Father.

"Sirius, this needs to stop. This provocative attitude of yours is going to get you into serious trouble eventually, particularly if you're around people that aren't as understanding as we are."

"Understanding?" Sirius laughed. "_You're_ understanding?"

Mother straightened her awful hat. "You have no respect for your elders whatsoever. You are an embarrassment, a- a- a _blood traitor!_" She clapped her hands to her mouth, as if she couldn't believe what she'd said to him. She didn't take it back though.

"Okay," Sirius said. Once, that comment might have wound him up. After his little talk with Regulus though, he could certainly think of worse things to be.

"Where is your pride?!" Mother shrieked.

"Perfectly intact," Sirius assured her. "Ready to make an appearance when I do something spectacular, or when I'm insulted."

"I insulted you!"

"Hardly. If you'd called me a Death Eater, maybe, but-"

"Sirius Orion Black!" Mother screeched.

"Now I'm insulted," Sirius said cheerfully.

"By your name?" Father asked, holding up a hand to silence Mother.

"Wouldn't you be?" Sirius asked. "It's revolting, practically _oozes_ pureblood."

"Would you prefer something... common?" Father asked dangerously. "Like that foolish nickname of yours. Padfeet."

"Padfeet?" Sirius asked, smirking.

"Padfoot," Mother said. "It's Padfoot." The smirk slipped off Sirius' face. "Would you take that, Sirius, over what we, your family, named you? Would you take that silly name over your bloodline?"

"In a heartbeat," Sirius told her.

Mother made a shrill noise but Father held up another hand. "Why?"

"Because that name isn't who I was born. That name is who I _am_. That name is what I worked for, that name is the one that my friends - my _real_ family - gave me. And that name, aside from anything else, fits, right in the middle of Moony, Wormtail and Prongs which is _exactly_ where I want to be." He stared at them defiantly, though he felt the effect was ruined by the fact that he was sitting on his bed, while they were standing over him. Still, even sitting he was almost as tall as his mother.

Father's lip curled. Mother let out a quiet sob. "I think, Sirius, that your priorities are in grave need of rearranging."

"I've never cared much what you think, Father," Sirius said. "Maybe I would have-"

"How dare you-"

"Quiet, Walburga. Let our _son_ finish."

Sirius squared his jaw. "Maybe I would care what you thought, Father, if you were home more."

"Are you lonely, Sirius?" Father asked mockingly.

"Not anymore," Sirius said honestly. "I used to be. I used to wonder why you were never home and then I realised, you don't give a damn. So now, I don't give a damn either. I haven't for years, but of course, you're never home to have noticed-"

"Enough!" Mother shouted, slapping him. Sirius just sat there. He was well used to Mother's temper tantrums. "I will not have you be so blatantly disrespectful! We are your superiors! Your betters! We deserve to be treated-"

"Like rubbish!" Sirius told her. "You deserve to be treated like rubbish because that's how you treat everyone else! If I treated you like you treat me, Mother, you'd be deaf in one ear and have a permanent handprint on the side of your face."

"You're too weak," she spat. "Your Gryffindor honour doesn't allow it."

Sirius stood up suddenly. He had no intention of hitting her, none at all - she'd been right about that at least - but he knew how she'd react and she didn't disappoint. She squeaked and staggered back to hide behind Father. "No wonder you never made it into Gryffindor," he said.

"I wouldn't want to!" she said, emerging when she realised he wasn't a threat. "And if you had any honour you'd never have been Sorted there!"

"You made that very clear when I came home that Christmas," Sirius said flatly. "You needn't have bought Bella that Augury quill; me being beaten at the dinner table was more than a substantial Christmas present for her."

"Because she knows what is due to her name! She was placed in Slytherin!"

"And that in itself is reason enough for me to not want to go there." Mother screamed at him. She didn't say anything. She just screamed. "Quiet, Mother," Sirius said when she'd done. "Reg is probably trying to sleep."

Her eyes bulged. She opened her mouth to say something but he never heard it; his father had lifted his wand and said, "_Crucio_."

Then Sirius was the one screaming. It was like every nerve was being pinched, like his blood was boiling, and every hair on his body was being pulled at once. It was like being stabbed, trampled by a hippogriff, falling off a broomstick from a hundred feet, having every bone broken at the same time, being hit by a thousand bludgers, like- it stopped.

Father crouched down beside him. "How- how could you," Sirius gasped. "It's- Unforgivable-"

"As is your behaviour of late. The more you push me, Sirius, the stricter I will become." Sirius couldn't find the strength to phrase anything. He just lay there, trembling.

"What's going on?" It was Regulus. "Sirius! Why are you on the floor?"

"Go back to bed, Regulus," Father said curtly, getting up.

"Why was he screaming? What did you do to him?!" Regulus demanded from somewhere behind Sirius.

Sirius forced himself to sit up. It was a huge effort, but the alternative was Father getting angry at his younger son too. "Go back to bed," he rasped.

"I won't! Not until I know what's going on!"

"Reg, please," Sirius said. "Just- just go."

Regulus walked further into the room until he was standing right in front of Father. "If you hurt him, I'll never forgive you," he promised. _There's that independent streak_, Sirius though dazedly. Regulus cast a last, anxious look in Sirius' direction and stalked out. His bedroom door slammed.

"I'd listen to him if I were you," Sirius said weakly, though his mind was reeling; he'd just been subjected to one of the Unforgivables, by his own father. It wasn't that he'd never thought his father capable of it. He had always hoped though, that his father had limits, that his father would never resort to that. He'd been wrong. Any delusions he'd had - few though they were these days - were shattered.

"And if I were you, I'd listen to me," Father said softly. "I have spoken with Bellatrix. She will come by in the morning and collect you."

"What am I, a newspaper?" Sirius asked.

"Such insolence," Father murmured, pulling his wand out again. Sirius flinched. "Finally, something that will curb your..."

"Personality?" Sirius suggested.

"Indeed." Father smiled coldly. "She will take you with her tomorrow, when she goes to join the Dark Lord's ranks."

"Each new member has to sacrifice a Gryffindor to be accepted, right?" Sirius said, but worry was beginning to chew on his insides.

"Don't be a fool," Mother said. Sirius jumped. She'd been uncharacteristically quiet for the last few minutes and he'd forgotten she was there. "She's taking you so you can join too." Sirius stared. "It's a chance for you to redeem yourself."

"I'm not going. I won't," Sirius said, through numb lips.

"Oh, but you will," Father said. "It'll be good for you, Sirius. No one will ever have cause to doubt your loyalties again. You'll learn to follow commands, you'll learn what it is to be a pureblood, what it is to be _better_-"

"No," Sirius said. "I'm not joining that lunatic. I refuse." Father brandished his wand again. "Do it," Sirius said. "Torture me. It won't change anything. I'll still say no."

"You will join," Father said.

"I'd rather die," Sirius snapped.

"Don't tempt me. You'll do what we say."

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want," Sirius said.

"What sort of language is that?!" Mother screamed. "How dare you befoul the house of my fathers with your foul tongue?!"

"My tongue's said and done worse," Sirius told her. Her eyes bulged again. He turned back to Father. "I'm not going."

Father watched him without expression. Then he lifted his wand. "_Imperio_," he said coolly.

The spell swept through Sirius and a sort of fog filled his mind. _Go to bed, _Father's voice told him. _Be ready in the morning for when Bellatrix comes to retrieve you._

Sirius - the part of him that was still him and not under Father's curse - screamed wordlessly. No sound made it out of his mouth though, and after Father petted his body's shoulder and Mother kissed his cheek, his body turned and walked to bed and climbed in.

He could feel himself shutting down, about to fall asleep. He heard - through ears that weren't really his at the moment - his parents turn off the lights, leave the room, reassure Regulus outside and head downstairs.

_Don't fall asleep!_ he urged himself. The fog turned to him, curious. _He said go to bed, never that I had to sleep._The fog snarled but settled down and his mind cleared a little. _Thank Godric for Father's ambiguous wording. How am I going to get out of this?!_

_I'll leave._ Sirius didn't particularly like the option, because if he left now, there was almost certainly no coming back. _But what's the alternative? Joining Voldemort?_ _Fuck that_. He tried to roll out of bed but couldn't. The spell wouldn't let him.

_Go to bed_, Father's voice commanded.

_I'm in bed. I want to get _out.

_Bed_, the voice said unreasonably.

_Fuck you_, Sirius told it. He glanced longingly at his wand but couldn't make himself reach it.

His bedroom door opened and a shape slipped in. He could have cried with relief. It was Regulus. "Sirius? I know you're awake."

It took Sirius a while to convince the spell that Father hadn't prohibited talking, and a few seconds beyond that to remember where his mouth was and how to use it. "Reg," he said.

"Are you hurt?"

"Do you have your wand?"

"Of course. Why?" Sirius found he couldn't say the words. _End the spell!_ he wanted to shout, but they wouldn't form. _Help_, wouldn't form either. "Sirius?!"

"Reg," Sirius said. It was all he really could say.

"What's wrong with you?"

_Imperius Curse,_ wouldn't come out. Neither would _spell, _or _hex_ or _magic. _"Reg," Sirius said again.

"Sirius, what's going on?" Regulus sounded scared. "Can you move?"

"Not really," Sirius said. "Please."

"Is it a body-bind?" Regulus asked. His shadow moved. "_Finite Incantatum_." The fog screeched and vanished. Fury replaced it. Sirius threw himself out of his bed. "Sirius, what-"

"He Imperiused me!" Sirius snarled, picking himself up off the floor.

"What?!" Regulus exclaimed. "He can't have! He wouldn't!"

"That pompous, old windbag," Sirius growled. He grabbed his wand off the bedside table and lit it with another growl. He started to throw the contents of his desk into his trunk.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Regulus asked.

"Leaving," Sirius snapped. "I'm getting as far from here as I possibly can."

"But it's the middle of the night."

"And in the morning, Bella's coming to drag me off to join with her. I'm sorry, Reg. I _can't_ stay here."

"Why would she do that?"

"Father asked her to. Apparently, I need to learn my place." Sirius tossed a Transfiguration textbook into his trunk, slammed the lid and locked it. "_Locomotor Trunk_," he snapped. It lifted a few inches off the ground and hovered obediently. "And this whole night has made it very clear that my place is not anywhere near this Godric-damned house, or our hag of a mother and arse of a father."

"Sirius-"

"Come with me," Sirius said. He focused on the incantation for a Permanent Sticking Charm and waved his wand in a loop around the room. _I hope they like my Gryffindor banners_, he thought vehemently. He glanced with a little pang at the photograph of him and the Marauders which was now stuck there for eternity but decided it was better there; he'd have the real thing, now, and Mother and Father would have a constant reminder that he was happy with the people they despised. "You don't belong here either, Reg. It'll be you next. They'll make you join."

"Sirius I can't," Regulus said. "Please, don't make me choose."

"That's more than Father ever gave me," Sirius said coolly.

"They'd be without an heir."

"They don't deserve one."

"I can't," Regulus said. "And I won't. I'm not asking you to change your mind. It's past that, but I will ask you to respect my decision. We can still be brothers after this."

"Of course we can," Sirius said. He hugged Regulus. "Now get back to bed. If you have to stay here, at least do it on good terms."

Regulus nodded. "I'll write when I can."

"You don't know where I'll be," Sirius said. _Even I'm not entirely sure._

"You'll be at James'," Regulus said, in a tone that questioned his sanity. That, of course, made perfect sense; James would take him in without hesitation. James wouldn't ask too many questions if Sirius didn't want him to; they were brothers. And when one family had forsaken him, it only made sense to go to another family. A real family. "Good bye, brother."

"Bye," Sirius said. He glanced around once more, satisfied he'd _never _be coming back and followed his brother out of the room. He didn't try to sneak out of the house. He walked down the stairs as he usually would - loudly, two at a time - with his trunk floating behind him and his wand in his fist.

Mother and Father were waiting for him outside their bedroom, one floor down, on the third floor. Sirius felt a little surge of excitement, the kind he always got when there was potential for a duel to be had. This was the first time since third year however - excluding special cases (Snivellus) - that he'd deliberately sought out a duel. If he'd had a tail in human form, it probably would have been wagging.

"What are you doing up?" Mother demanded. "You were told to go to bed."

"I changed my mind," Sirius said coldly.

"Why do you have your trunk?" Mother asked.

"I'm not off to join the Death Eaters if that's what you were hoping," Sirius said snidely.

"Go back to bed," Father said, sounding irritated.

Sirius looked him in the eye. "No."

Father blinked and lifted his wand, slowly, deliberately, as he always did. Sirius snatched the wand out of his grip before the first syllable of a spell could leave his father's lips. Then, holding his father's gaze, he twisted his fingers and snapped the wretched thing. A surge of murky green-black magic came out in shapes that resembled shards of glass more than anything else. Father took a step forward, absolutely livid - this was definitely the maddest Sirius had ever seen him - but Sirius lifted his own wand and muttered, "_Colloshoo_." Father wobbled but didn't go over as Sirius had hoped.

"How dare you?!" Mother cried, recovering. "You horrid, shameful, little-"

"Shut up!" Sirius bellowed. Mother choked on her words. "The only thing that's horrid and shameful here is you, you vindictive old hag!" Mother drew her wand but Sirius Disarmed her without even bothering to say the incantation. He let the halves of Father's wand fall to the ground - still sparking magic - and strode around his stuck parents to the next flight of stairs. Father made a grab for him but recoiled when Sirius sent a mild Stinging Hex at his hand.

"Where are you going?!" Mother shrieked. "Sirius!"

Sirius turned to face them. "Home," he said.

"You traitor!" Mother shouted, her face turning an awful mottled purple. "You scum! You dare to- You attacked us- You-"

Father watched with his usual cold disapproval. When Sirius had had enough of Mother's screaming and turned away, Father called his name. He glanced over his shoulder. "When the Dark Lord kills you for being a blood traitor," Father said, "I will not mourn you."

"You need a heart to mourn," Sirius pointed out. Father looked annoyed that his insult had been turned back on him. Sirius waited a moment to see if either of them had anymore to say but they didn't. He flicked his wand and his trunk floated down the stairwell. He followed it and didn't look back.

* * *

"Belstone, Devon," the Knight Bus conductor called. Sirius yawned and pried himself off his four-poster.

"Thank you," he grunted, dragging his trunk off.

"Have a good night." The bus disappeared with a bang.

Sirius set off West, down the narrow dirt road, wishing James lived in one of the little muggle cottages in the village instead of the Manor which was probably a half hour walk from where he was. Sirius made it to the edge of the village in hardly any time at all - it really was tiny - before taking the North road.

He tripped a few times in the dark but didn't dare light his wand for two reasons; the first was that he was underage, the second was that in a village with a population less than that of Hogwarts, a strange person walking around with a lit up stick was certain to be noticed, even if it was the middle of the night.

Sirius was tired and sweaty by the time he reached the fork that diverged from the main road and even more miserable by the time he reached the end of that and had to go cross-country. His feet hurt from walking several miles, his head hurt from trying to pick a path in the dark and the rest of him was sore from the Cruciatus Curse. He thoroughly wished he'd thought to Floo, even if it meant a less dramatic exit than the one he'd made.

Sirius lifted his trunk, tossed it over a fence and climbed over after it. _Almost there_. He crossed the paddock, scaled another fence - it would be pointless to try to find a gate in the dark - and headed in the general direction of the Manor.

He knew roughly where it was, but he was tired and he was sore and in no mood at all to spend much longer searching; if he didn't get there in five minutes, he resolved to find a nice patch of grass and sleep there, perhaps as Padfoot.

It was unnecessary in the end. Potter Manor, a huge, white stone building loomed out of the night, eerily bright against the dark of Halstock Wood. Sirius almost didn't see the wrought-iron fencing in the dark and stubbed his toe on the stone base.

He felt his way along the fence, knowing wards would keep him from climbing over, until he found the gate. "Aut viam inveniam aut faciam_,_" he murmured. The gate clicked and swung open. Sirius hauled his trunk through, shut it again and crossed the garden; there was a pond that hadn't been there when he visited in Easter and wondered whether a pond was a good idea while someone like James was living there. He left his trunk on the doorstep and headed around the back of the house; he wasn't about to ring the bell and wake everyone up.

_Just James_.

He lit his wand - the wards on the Manor would conceal any underage magic used, just like the ones at Grimmauld did. _Grimmauld._ Sirius felt a little twinge of guilt for leaving Regulus, anger, and then amusement as he wondered whether his parents were still stuck to the third floor landing. Sirius found the window he was fairly sure was James' and murmured, "_Ignis Dissiliunt_."

Three balls of light shot out of the end of his wand and exploded in the air outside James' window with quiet fizzing sounds. Sirius had to repeat the spell three times before James' sleepy face appeared on the other side of the window, illuminated by wandlight. The window flew open a moment later. "Padfoot?!" James said, his mouth falling open.

"Hi, Prongs," Sirius called.

James blinked a few times, shook his head and said, "I'll be right down."

Sirius made his way back around to the front and not long after, a flushed, out-of-breath James wrenched the door open. "Did you run the entire way?" Sirius asked; it should have taken James several minutes to get to the front door from his room.

"Sirius, you've shown up at my house, in your pyjamas, in the middle of the night. Yes, I ran."

"Right." James grabbed Sirius' trunk and carried it into the foyer. Sirius followed him in. It was warm inside, and the lamps on the walls were on, but very dimly. "Sorry for waking you up," Sirius mumbled, flopping onto the bottom step of the staircase.

"It's not the first time you've woken me up and I doubt it'll be the last," James said, yawning as he sat down beside him. "I take it, from your trunk, you've come to stay?"

"If you'll have me," Sirius mumbled. "Sorry for just showing up like this but I didn't know where else to go and-"

"Of course we'll have you," James said, bumping Sirius' shoulder with his own. "You're family. You're always welcome."

"Thanks," Sirius said and was embarrassed to feel his eyes stinging. He'd cried in front of James before, but not usually over something this small. _Running away from home isn't small and you know it_, a voice in his head that sounded like Remus' said. _Go away_, Sirius told it.

"No problem," James said brightly. "Shall we head upstairs? You look dead on your feet. _Locomotor Trunk._" He flicked his wand and it went floating up the stairs.

"I ran away," Sirius said, staring at his trainers.

James' eyebrows rose. "Like in fourth year, when they said you couldn't visit and you came anyway?"

"No, like I snapped my father's wand when he tried to make me stay." James stared. "I hexed them both," he admitted, flushing. "Last I saw, they were glued to the third floor landing."

"And Reg?" James asked apprehensively.

"He freed me from the Imperius Curse and went back to bed," Sirius said, unable to bring himself to tell everything in detail when he was so tired.

"WHAT?!" James shouted.

"Shh!" Sirius hissed.

"Imperius Curse?" James whispered viciously. "They had you under the Imperius Curse?!" Sirius sighed and nodded. "Wait until I tell Dad-"

"No," Sirius said.

"Padfoot, it's illegal!"

"I know. Please, Prongs, just leave it alone."

James' eyes narrowed behind his glasses but he nodded. "Is that the _only_ Unforgivable he used?"

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" Sirius said, hoping he'd be satisfied with a half-truth.

James stared at him. "Paddy-"

"Don't," Sirius said, feeling close to tears again.

James seemed to notice. He didn't hug him - Sirius thought he might have cried if he did and thought James knew it - and instead nodded and led Sirius up the staircase. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm absolutely fine," Sirius snapped. "Never been better, in fact." James said nothing. The momentary anger faded - Sirius wasn't even sure who he was angry at - and the he realised what he'd said and to who, and was appalled. "Sorry," he said miserably. "I'm just tired and-"

"I know," James said, giving him a little smile. "And from the sounds of it, you've had an awful day. You have every right to be a little pissed."

"Awful doesn't begin to cover it," Sirius said darkly.

"James Charlus Potter," said a strict voice.

"Ignore her," James muttered. "She'll think she's dreaming."

"Sirius Orion Black."

James winced beside Sirius and both boys spun to face Dorea Potter who was looking formidable in her fluffy, crimson dressing gown. She was a tall woman and slim, with short, curly hair - it was still red but beginning to fade with age - and hazel eyes, which were narrowed in suspicion. Usually a pair of rectangular glasses - not unlike McGonagall's - rested on her long nose, but Sirius supposed her ability to read properly wasn't important at two in the morning. "Mum," James said, sounding delighted. "Fancy seeing you here."

She sighed loudly. "Sirius, why are you tracking mud all through my house?"

"Oh!" Sirius said, looking down at his filthy trainers and the footsteps he'd left coming up the staircase. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"Oh, good, you've found them." Charlus appeared through a doorway at the end of the hall. Charlus, in Sirius' opinion, was James in seventy years' time. He had the same mop of messy hair - though it was starting to thin and turn silver - the same smile - though Sirius had never seen it as mischievous as James' - and the same tall, lean build. "Hello, Sirius." Charlus said, even sounding similar to his son, with that same on-the-verge-of-laughter tone.

"Hi, Mr Potter."

"Charlus, please."

"I know. I just thought I should be polite, given the time."

Charlus chuckled. "Was that your trunk that almost knocked me over?"

"Probably," Sirius said apologetically. Charlus chuckled again and glanced over at his son and wife.

"We were _trying_ to be quiet," James was telling Dorea. "Dad's just a light sleeper."

"I'll give you that," Dorea conceded, "but this time you woke both of us."

"Doing what?" James asked.

"Sprinting down the hallway like you had a chimera after you," Charlus said.

Sirius sniggered. "Oi," James said. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"_I_ didn't wake them up," Sirius said, grinning.

James scowled. "You woke _me _up." He turned back to his mother. "It's all Sirius' fault."

"Such loyalty," Sirius said dryly. "You could have been a Hufflepuff, Prongs."

"Shut it, you- Ow!" Dorea had swatted her son. "Mum!"

"Don't be rude!"

Charlus sniggered and got a smack as well, making James snigger. "What?" Charlus asked.

"You can handle all those Death Eaters but you still get bossed around by Mum," James said.

"I boss everyone around, James," Dorea said firmly. "That's the way it should be and the way it will stay. Let's get you settled in, Sirius." She strode off down the hallway and the boys and Charlus followed.

"Never argue with a redheaded woman," Charlus told James and Sirius. The three of them stared at Dorea's back. "It'll end in tears but rarely on her part." Sirius glanced at James and nodded, positive they were both thinking of Lily Evans. "They're merciless and-"

"Have very good hearing," Dorea called over her shoulder, her lips twitching.

"Shall I wake Noddy, dear?"

"No. If she's managed to sleep through this, she deserves to stay where she is." Dorea sent James off to find the spare bedding and Charlus to fetch the mattress.

"I really am sorry for just showing up-"

"It's quite all right. I do wish you'd chosen a more socially-acceptable hour but it's done now. What matters is you're here, look absolutely dead on your feet and in serious need of some mothering."

"Serious need?" Sirius asked, grinning.

Dorea gave him a fond smile. "I'm well aware of what I said."

"I don't think-"

"Sirius, do remember who you're talking to," she said, shaking her head.

"I know who I'm talking to," he mumbled.

"I'm the woman who raised James Potter and survived," she told him with a grin every inch as mischievous as her son was capable of producing.

"Right," Sirius muttered.

She held her grin for a little longer and then her brisk tone was back. "Are you happy to sleep in James' room, or would you like to move into one of the guest bedrooms?"

"Sending the others to get bedding and a mattress is pointless if I go into one of the guest bedrooms," he pointed out.

"This isn't about them."

He shifted uncomfortably. "I'll go into James' room," he said. "I could use the company."

"I thought you might say that." They walked the last few yards of the hall in silence and then Dorea pushed open James' bedroom door. It was exactly as Sirius remembered it; big, with a large red-covered four-poster in the middle of the far wall, a large window on the right - the one Sirius had lured James to half an hour earlier - a desk beneath that upon which rested piles of holiday work and Chudley's cage, and a large, well-stocked bookcase and couch rested against the wall on the left. Like Sirius' room, the walls were adorned with Gryffindor banners, though James had a collection of Quidditch posters in the place of Sirius' muggle models. Even so, it was like coming home.

Sirius wondered absently if James had actually cleaned when he got home from Grimmauld - there wasn't even a sock or scarf out of place. Sirius' trunk sat at the end of James' bed.

"Watch out!" Charlus called. Dorea - who was probably well used to these situations, grabbed Sirius and pulled him out of the way as a mattress went zooming past. It fell with a quiet thump, landing beside James' bed.

"Must you?" Dorea asked, turning to her husband with her hands on her hips.

"Get out the way!" James called. A pillow raced past Sirius' knees and collided with the desk. Chudley hooted irritably.

"James!" Dorea said.

"Sorry, Mum," James said, not sounding sorry at all.

The second pillow hovered over unassumingly, and hit the back of Sirius' head. James pointed his wand at his mother, no doubt wondering whether to get her with the pillow too and then seemed to think better of it. Sirius thought that was smart of him. Instead, he sent it to rest on the mattress and he dumped the rest of the bedding there too before he retrieved the other pillow.

Dorea made the bed with a wave of her wand. "Now," she said, "bed for the pair of you."

"Yes, ma'am," James said, saluting.

"Is there anything else you need, Sirius?" she asked. He shook his head. "James?"

James turned to Charlus. "An extra Cannons ticket."

"Boys," Dorea muttered, but she smiled at both her husband and son. "Would like me to write to my niece, Sirius, and let her know you're safe?"

"No," Sirius said, his voice catching a little. "I don't think she cares where I am at the moment."

Charlus frowned slightly. "Surely your mother...?"

"Trust me, she won't care," Sirius said heavily.

Dorea was frowning at her son. "James, what...?"

"We've adopted him," James informed his parents as he looped an arm around Sirius' shoulders.

"Oh, have we now?" Charlus asked.

"Yep," James said. Sirius felt his face heating up. "I'll take care of him, I promise. I'll feed him and take him for walks and-"

"He's not a dog, James," Dorea said, rolling her eyes. _Well actually..._ She shooed her son away and hugged Sirius. "You're welcome for as long as you want to stay," she said.

"I might not ever leave," Sirius joked.

"You make a better house-guest than some," Charlus said, grinning at his son.

"I'm a wonderful guest," James protested.

"Who said I was talking about you?"

"You looked at me..." James sighed and elbowed his father who caught him and ruffled his hair.

"Sleep in tomorrow," Dorea advised, releasing Sirius, "and then if you feel up to it, we'll have a chat about things." She fixed her son with a stern look. "And you look after him, James."

"You're kidding me!" James said. "You think you have to _tell_ me to?! It's like you don't know me at all-" He continued to splutter indignantly as his mother kissed him on the forehead and she and Charlus left the room. "Look after you," James grumbled. "What do they think I'm going to do, hang you out the window? Feed you to Chudley? Honestly!"

"Feed me to Chudley?" Sirius asked, climbing into bed.

"He's vicious," James said gravely.

"Sure."

"He is. He bit me the other day. I'm going to have a scar there forever-"

"Why'd he bite you?"

"_Nox_," James said, waving his wand at the lamps. "Pardon?"

"I said why'd he bite you?"

"Because he likes Lily better than me. I swear she's _told_ him not to deliver things to her anymore."

"Wonder why..."

James missed the good-natured sarcasm. "I don't know, but it's unfortunate, really. When she finally gives in and realises she fancies me, I won't have any way to contact her."

"You'd buy a new owl."

"That's what I told Chudley. And then he bit me." Sirius chuckled. "Speaking of Chudley, I was thinking, I'll write to Moony tomorrow and see if he wants to come over a few days early."

"Not yet," Sirius said.

James understood at once. "You don't want the company?"

"I just want a few days to think," Sirius said.

James was quiet. "Fair enough," he said after a moment. "If you need anything, though, let me know. I could invite Marlene over if you want... _that_... sort of company."

Marlene's company was tempting but Sirius shook his head and then, remembering James couldn't see him said, "Not yet."

James made a funny little noise and then, "I'm touched, Paddy, that you want me around."

"You live here," Sirius pointed out. "I don't have much choice about you."

"If you want me to bugger off, say the word," James said cheerfully.

"Prongs, I don't think that day's ever going to come."

"Good," James said simply.

And that was all that needed to be said for now. Sirius would explain the night's events in depth tomorrow when he was thinking coherently, and James would probably get upset and want to have Father arrested before Sirius talked him out of it. Sirius would probably cry at some point, and he would probably feel guilty for leaving Regulus behind but he could face all of that, he knew. James would help him through it, and when he felt up to their company, Remus and Peter would too. He wasn't alone. He had his friends, his brothers. His family. A family that he was proud to belong to, and one that was proud to have him-

"Padfoot? Paaaadddfoooot..."

"Hmm?"

James laughed. "I thought I'd lost you for a bit."

Sirius grinned at the wording. "Almost," he said. "But I'm back now."


End file.
